I've been having dreams of my father lately. Quite vividly in fact. In them, he is as I remember him alive. Healthy, happy, proud, and always while doing things he enjoyed. I view everything in my dream as if it were the present and the thought of his death was just a horrible nightmare. Then I wake up to the harsh reality that he is no longer here and that reality is my nightmare. I haven't had a sound sleep since his passing. I wake up in the morning drowzy and thinking for a brief moment that my father is still alive and well.
It's difficult imagining my world without him. We hadn't spoken for almost 5 years, mainly because of his stubbornness and my inability to always understand him. We had since made up and I was much happier. Now when my wife and I decided to have kids, they could have grandpa to look up to and respect. A grandpa that I never had...a father that I was so proud of. Yes, they would have my father-in-law, but he is in Japan. Here was the man that made me into who I am today. Gone...in this nightmare called reality...
